Indeed all praises are due to Allah, we praise Him, we seek His help, we ask for His forgiveness, and we rely solely on Him. We seek His refuge from the evil in our souls and from our wicked deeds. Whoever Allah guides, no one can misguide. And whomever Allah misguides, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah, He is One, with no partners, and I testify that Mohammad (ﷺ)  is His Messenger and His slave. 

PART 1: RIGHTS OF SPOUSES

Due to joint family system in many parts of Islamic world, it is very common to hear social issues related to wife and family of husband. These issues can be summarized as:

• Wife's mistreatment of husband's family
• Husband's family mistreat of wife There may be endless reasons for such issues to arrive, and they often result in wife asking for separate accommodation. These matter become so severe that they often result in breaking of marriages.

There may be endless reasons for such issues to arrive, and they often result in wife asking for separate accommodation. These matter become so severe that they often result in  breaking of marriages.

Hence, it is important to understand rights of both spouses from Shariah perspective, i.e. rights of wife on husband, and rights of husband on his wife. It is imperative that all Muslims return to the Quran and Sunnah in every aspect of life, this also include matters related to marriage.

Firstly, the relationship between husband and wife is of compassion, kindness, love and mutual respect for each other. Whatever the situation is that is causing any rift or mistreatment between them, both husband and wife must mutual resolve their issues by showing love and compassion towards each other.

Sometimes, due to inexperience and act of childishness and immaturity, and often out of anger and frustration, husband and wife resort to extreme position. This is further aggravated by emotions and ego that can sometime result in devastating outcome that may bring an end to their marriage.

Hence, both husband and wife must take extreme precaution in dealing with situations like these. Husband must not treat their wife like servants, and give them the honor and self-respect due to them. Similarly, wife must show compassion towards the sentiments of their husband, and treat them with kindness and love, and must avoid using foul language all the time. Both must show patience, as Allah (swt) said:

وَأَطِيعُواْ اللّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلاَ تَنَازَعُواْ فَتَفْشَلُواْ وَتَذْهَبَ رِيحُكُمْ وَاصْبِرُواْ إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

8:46 And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength depart, and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).

Take this time tested advise from Allah (swt) and show courage and patience at the time of dispute. Generally, good manners and soft language often acts as an ultimate ointment that can heal any marriage issue. If the husband and wife are compassionate and kind towards each other, use soft language and good manners with each other, they generally overcome all crises in their life.

Foundational principal of marriage in Shariah

Before understanding spousal rights, it is important to understand the basic fundamental principal of Shariah that defines the relationship between the two spouses. Until these properly understood, all other legal details of secondary issues can easily be confused.

Allah (swt) states in the Quran:

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا

4:34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.

Hence, in light of this verse from Quran, following Usool are established in Shariah:

• Husband is identified as the person who has the main responsibility of protecting and maintaining the wife and the family. They have supervisory rule in conducting the affairs of the house. They have the responsibility for safeguarding the wife and taking care of all their needs. This doesn't mean that man has any superiority over the woman, rather, man has the responsibility to protect her. Hence, Allah (swt) choose man to be incharge of her affairs. In order to maintain the balance in marriage life, one person has to be given this responsibility to be the supervisor, protector and guardian of the family. Since, Islam is a religion of Fitra (nature), and such responsibilities are more suitable to the nature (fitra) of man, thus man was given this responsibility.
• Wife was given the responsibility of maintaining the house and save guard the interest of her husband, and be obedient and loving to her husband.
• Mutual respect and honor, and show kindness, compassion, love and devotion for each other, by fulfilling each other's rights.

1. HUSBAND'S RIGHTS ON HIS WIFE

Obedience: It is woman's obligation to be obedient to her husband.

• As stated in the Quran: فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ  - "4:34 Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.)."
• Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, guided her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will enter Paradise through any gate she wills"[2].
• However, the obedience of wife towards her husband is only in matter of maroof (things that are good and acceptable). If the husband order her to do something that is forbidden in Islam, then she must refuse to obey him. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "There is no obedience in what is an act of disobedience to Allah. Obedience is only with respect to what is good and acceptable (maroof)"[3].

Leaving house with husband's permission

• Allah (swt) commanded: وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَى وَأَقِمْنَ الصَّلَاةَ وَآتِينَ الزَّكَاةَ وَأَطِعْنَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ لِيُذْهِبَ عَنكُمُ الرِّجْسَ أَهْلَ الْبَيْتِ وَيُطَهِّرَكُمْ تَطْهِيرًا - " 33:33 And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance, and perform As-Salat (IqamatasSalat), and give Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove ArRijs (evil deeds and sins, etc.) from you, O members of the family (of the Prophet SAW), and to purify you with a thorough purification. "
• Allah (swt) commanded the woman to stay in their houses (وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ), and do not display themselves as item of merchandise to whole world, like the times of Jahilliyyah (تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ

Not allowing any one to enter the house except with the permission of her husband

• The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "and your right upon them is that they do not allow anyone whom you dislike to sit on your cushion"[4] Imam Nawawi commended on this hadith that "permission should not be given to anyone to enter your houses and sit on your furnishing whom he [the husband] dislikes. This is regardless if the one given permission is a non-related man, a woman or one of the wife's relatives. The prohibition extends to all of them. The wife is not to permit any man, woman, relative or otherwise [to enter into her husband's house] unless she knows or believes that the husband doe not dislike that person [to enter]"[5].
• Abu Hurairah narrated, that Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "[The Wife] is not to allow anyone into his house while he is present except with his permission"[6]. meaning that wife should seek husband's permission prior to admitting the person in the house, either the husband is home or not. "while he is present" here simply states the normal case.

Serving the husband and look after his well being.

• Wife must look after the well being of her husband and serve him in matters related to family life, such as looking after the house affairs, bringing up the children, preparing for the food, taking care of the clothes etc.
• As stated in the Quran: فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ  - "4:34 Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.)." Here (حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ) means protecting everything that belongs to her husband in his absence. This include his progeny, his wealth, his/her honour, his secrets and private matters etc.
• While Islam makes Husband responsible for providing sustenance and protection for the family, wife is given responsibility to look after the house affairs and helping in upbringing of the children, and their education. This has been understood from many narrations from many Sahabiyats, like Fatimah, Umm Salmah, Asma bin abu bakar etc.
• However, scholars have disputed that if it is obligatory upon wife to serve the husband in things like serving of food, cooking, clothing. Scholars like Ibn Taymiah considers is an obligatory act, other thinks its customary. Ibn Qayyim wrote "Allah has obliged man to maintain her, clothe her and give her housing in exchange for being able to enjoy her and for serving him. And this has been the normal custom among the spouses... The customary practice is that the wife serves the husband and takes care of the internal affairs of the house." [Zaad al-Maad]
• This does not mean that husband dos not assist his wife or help her in house affairs. In fact, husband helping their wife in house affair is evidence from noble Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ). It is part of dealing one's wife with kindness and good manners. Aisha narrated about the Prophet:"He would help his wife -- meaning serve his wife -- but when the time for prayer came, he would leave to the prayer"[7].
• When daughter of the Prophet (ﷺ) Ruqayyah fell ill, Uthman ibn Affan stayed behind from the Battle of Badr in order to attend her and look after her[8]. For Uthman to leave Battle of Badr to look after his wife states that it is of utmost importance to attend the wife in her need. Hence, the man has to consider the circumstances and state of her wife's health, and ensure her well being while she looks after his interest, and do not ask her to do thing that is beyond her physical capacity and may jeopardize her health.

Protect husband's honor, children, wealth and other just interest.

• Wife must protect her honor, chastity and be extremely careful about anything that can jeopardize the honor of her family and her husband.
• She must be careful in exposing her beauty to others, especially non-mahrams. She must protect the progeny of her husband. The Prophet (ﷺ) considered those women worse who have committed zina and borne illegal child while they were married. He said: "Any woman who brings to a people one who is not from them [i.e. by illegal sexual intercourse] will have nothing to do with Allah and Allah will not enter her into Paradise"[9].

Be kind and gracious, and grateful

• Wife must be kind towards her husband, and show respect towards what her husband provides her. In some situation husband is not able to earn enough. Wife must show compassion and help her husband to live within his means. The Prophet (ﷺ) warned the companions regarding this matter, and said that hell will be filled with woman who were ungrateful. "They are ungrateful to their husbands and they are ungrateful with respect to the goodness done to them. If one of you were to do good to one of them his whole life and then she sees from you something she does not like, she will say, "i have never seen any good from you"[10].

2. WIFE'S RIGHT ON HER HUSBAND

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكُيمٌ

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

Type of the rights of the wife upon her husband

The wife has specific rights upon her husband that are the result of a sound marriage contract. These can be categorized into two:

• Material or Financial Rights: which are the dower (al-sadaaq الصدق or المهر mahr), spending and accommodation etc.
• Non-Material Rights: such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband or anyone else in her house.

A. Material or Financial Rights

Mahr (dowry):

• This is the right of wife that she is entitled to from  her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated
• Allah (swt) says: وَآتُواْ النَّسَاء صَدُقَاتِهِنَّ نِحْلَةً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَكُمْ عَن شَيْءٍ مِّنْهُ نَفْسًا فَكُلُوهُ هَنِيئًا مَّرِيئًا - " 4:4 And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful). "

Financially Maintaining the Wife

• Providing financial support to wife is husbands obligatory duty. Since, the job of wife according to Shariah is to look after house affairs (وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ) and husband's job is to earn for the family and provide them material, food and living. Quran says: (الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء) "4:34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women" and the reason it states for it is: (وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ) "4:34 ... because they spend (to support them) from their means"
• Hence, it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives. This includes food, clothing and housing according to the situation of Husband's means and earning.
  • Allah (swt) made this obligatory by stating in Quran: وَعلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ لاَ تُكَلَّفُ نَفْسٌ إِلاَّ وُسْعَهَا - "2:233 but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mothers food and clothing on a reasonable basis. "
  •  The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them by the trust with Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah ............. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner (ولهنَّ عليكم رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ)”[11].
• Husband provides the financial support based on his means
  • Allah (swt) says: لِيُنفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِّن سَعَتِهِ وَمَن قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَا آتَاهَا سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا  - “65:7 Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
  • It was narrated that Aisha said: “Hind bint Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’”[12]
  • Quran gave us Qaida kuliya on this, Allah (swt) says: وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ عَلَى الْمُوسِعِ قَدَرُهُ وَعَلَى الْمُقْتِرِ قَدْرُهُ - "2:236 the rich according to his means, and the poor according to his means, "
• This indicates that its obligatory on the husband to provide financial support for the wife to maintain her expenses, and that of her children according to what is customary fitting in the times they live.
• This also indicate that wife can take from her husband's wealth if he refuses to give her what is her right according to her needs, even if she takes it without his knowledge as long as it's not more than her real needs.
• However, this doesn't mean that wife overburden her husband with long list of demands and request. She should be satisfied and content with less, especially if her husband's circumstances doesn't provide him extra income.
• The Prophet (ﷺ) advised that in worldly matters with relates to possession of material wealth, one should look at who has less than you, He said: "Look to one who has less than you and do not look at one who has more than you as this is more likely keep you from finding fault with the blessing of Allah upon you"[13].

Accommodation

Woman has the shari'i right to be provided accommodation, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability.

• Alah says: أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنتُم مِّن وُجْدِكُمْ وَلَا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ  “65:6 Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means, and do not treat them in such a harmful way that they be obliged to leave."

Separate Accommodation:

• The wife has the right to live in separate accommodation with her husband and children, if she does not like to share it with anyone like her in-law or relatives. This is the view of most of the Hanafi, Shaafa’i and Hanbali fuqaha. She also has the right to refuse to live with his husband's father, mother and siblings.
• Al-Kaasaani said in Badaa’i al-Sanaa’i (4/24): If the husband wants to make her live with her co-wife or in-laws, such as the husband’s mother or sister or daughter from another wife or his relatives, and she refuses to do so, then he has to accommodate her in a separate house, because they may annoy her or harm her if they live together, and her refusal is an indication that she is being bothered or harmed. And because he needs to be able to have intercourse with her or be intimate with her at any time, and that cannot be done if there is a third person living with them. End quote.  Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah favoured the view that if the husband is poor or unable to provide separate accommodation for his wife, she does not have the right to ask for something he is unable to give. This was narrated from him in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (5/122). Rather she should bear it with patience until Allah gives him the means.
• Separate accommodation is the wife’s right, even if she did not stipulate it in the marriage contract, and she has the right to ask for it now, and she is not regarded as being wilfully defiant because of that. The commonly held view among some people, that this is creating division among siblings, is not true, because this is a shar’i right of the wife, and it serves the interests of both spouses, because it prevents free mixing and guards them against looking at things that are not permissible. It is unfortunate that in many shared family homes, a man may look at his brother’s wife, and they may shake hands or be alone together, which may lead to jealousy, envy, disputes and separation. There may also be arguments because of the children. Undoubtedly a man is a stranger (non-mahram) to his brother’s wife, so it is not permissible for him to shake hands with her or be alone with her or look at her, unless he is a mahram to her through some other means, such as breastfeeding.
• The one who looks at shared family homes will be certain of the wisdom of what the scholars have said, that a wife should have her own home, because in many of these homes there are problems and differences between the spouses and between a man and his brother, and between the wife and her husband’s mother, and so on, as well as the many evils and things that go against Islam.  [14]

See further evidences and explanation below on separate accommodation under joint family.

B. Non-Material Rights

To be kind and fair with his wife and show Good manners 

• Allah (swt) says: وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا  - "4:19 And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good. ". Meaning husbands must show honor and respect towards their wives, and treat them with good manners and kindness (وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ). Even if due to some reason he dislike his wife, e.g. she is not beautiful or attractive, or has other short comings, or she is sick etc.  Husband must show patience and forbearance.
• The Prophet (ﷺ) said: A believing man should not hate a believing woman since if he dislikes one of her characters, he is pleased with another"[15]. Thus, the husband should be patient and give more time to wife, and perhaps her other traits may bring more joy and success to husband.
• It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: “The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”[16]
• The Prophet (ﷺ) enjoined kind treatment and honoring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”[17]
• The Prophet (ﷺ) stated concerning kind treatment of one’s wife: “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth" [18]. Meaning that good treatment towards his wife, and show of love and compassion will return in hefty rewards.
• The Prophet was asked by Companions, "What is the right of our wives upon us?" He replied, "It is that when you eat, you feed her; when you get clothing for yourself, you get clothing for her; do not strike the face; do not swear at her; and do not boycott her except in the house"[19].

Do not misuse the power and abuse her right

• While Allah (swt) gave the position of (قَوَّام) protector and supervisor to the husband, He also caution him not to abuse his position to harm the wife.
• ايلأ - If for some issue between husband and wife, husband decide to avoid his wife and takes an oath. Then Shariah states that he must revert to his wife after 4 month. This command was given to restraint those man who would abuse their wives by holding them in their custody without fulfilling their rights, and also not given them divorce.
  • Allah (swt) says: لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَآئِهِمْ تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍ فَإِنْ فَآؤُوا فَإِنَّ اللّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ - "2:226 Those who take an oath not to have sexual relation with their wives must wait four months, then if they return (change their idea in this period), verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. "
• Shariah states that if husband divorced his wife then they should either take them back on reasonable terms or let them go. But do not just hold them to hurt them. This has been severely prohibited in Quran.
  • Allah (swt) says: وَلاَ تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًا لَّتَعْتَدُواْ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ وَلاَ تَتَّخِذُوَاْ آيَاتِ اللّهِ هُزُوًا - "But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself. And treat not the Verses (Laws) of Allah as a jest,". If someone hold the woman just to cause them mental and psychological harm, or any other bodily and physical harm; then such person is condemned and will be committing great sin.

Providing Protection and Security to his Wife

• Allah (swt) says: الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء - "4:34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, "

Not harming one’s wife.

• This is one of the basic usool in Shariah (لا ضرر ولا ضرار) that states that we should not harm others, nor others should harm us. It was narrated from Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.”[20]
• Hence, its prohibited to harm one's wife and absolutely prohibited to hit her or beat her in severe manner.
• The Prophet was asked by Companions, "What is the right of our wives upon us?" He replied, "It is that when you eat, you feed her; when you get clothing for yourself, you get clothing for her; do not strike the face; do not swear at her; and do not boycott her except in the house"[21].
• It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said in his Farewell Sermon: “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them by the trust with Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner”[22]

Fair treatment, if husband has more than one wife

• Wife has the right that she is treated fairly and equally, if the husband has other wives.
• Allah (swt) says:   - فَلاَ تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِن تُصْلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا 4:129 ... so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful. 
• This applies to wife's rights to her financial and material support, as well as her other rights as wife. However, this doesn't apply to mans inner feeling of his heart with relates to love and affection, as such are not controllable aspects, as Quran also states that: وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُواْ أَن تَعْدِلُواْ بَيْنَ النِّسَاء وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ " 4:129 You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire"

Interference from in-laws

• Allah (swt) has given the responsibility to the husband to be protector of the wife, and at the same time asked the wife to be obedient towards her husband. Allah (swt) said: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means…” [al-Nisa’ 4:34] Ibn Kathir said:  "Allah has given the husband rights and commanded the wife to obey him; He has forbidden her to disobey him because of the fact that he excels her and maintains her." [Tafsir Ibn Khatir]
• However, other than her husband, wife has no obligation towards any other member of her husband's family to obey them in any matter, be it his father, mother, brother, sister or any other relative. But if ask her to perform an obligatory duty of Shariah, then she must follow it.
• Husband must ensure that his wife has been given full protection and security in her house, and that no one disrespect and dishonour her in her house. This is basic shari'i obligation on husband's part.
• The wife has right to feel free in her home, and none has right to enter her premises. This is stated in Quran. Allah (swt) said: يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّى تَسْتَأْنِسُوا وَتُسَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَهْلِهَا ذَلِكُمْ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ - " 24:27 O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them, that is better for you, in order that you may remember. "
• Hence, the family of husband must not enter the house of wife or her premises without explicit permission from her.
• Due to the issues faced in joint family system, it should be noted in bold that it is haram for non-mahram relatives of the husband to enter the room of wife, especially when the husband is not present. This include husband's brother or any other male relative that are  non-mahram to the wife. Even in the presence of husband, wife must observe full hijab and husband must be certain that there is no risk of falling into fitnah (temptation).
  • And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said, “What about the in-law, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “The in-law is death.”[23].
  • Al-Nawawi commented on this hadith: "With regard to the Prophet’s words “The in-law is death,” what this means is that there is more fear with regard to him than anyone else, and evil is to be expected of him, and the fitnah (temptation) is greater because he is able to reach the woman and be alone with her without anyone denouncing that, unlike the case of one who is a stranger. What is meant by “in-law” (hamu) here is the relatives of the husband apart from his father/grandfather and sons/grandsons. Fathers/grandfathers and sons/grandsons are mahrams for his wife and it is permissible for them to be alone with her. The word “death” here does not refer to them. Rather what is meant is the brother, brother’s son, paternal uncle, cousin, etc, who are not mahrams. People are usually careless about this matter and a man may let his wife be alone with his brother. This is what is referred to by “death” and should be prevented more than her being alone with a stranger for the reasons mentioned above
• It is not an obligation on wife to cook for husband's family, or clean their rooms, or do any other service for them. No such right has been obligation by Shariah. Hence, in-laws has no right to force the wife into any act to service them. The wife's obligation is only limited to serving and pleasing her husband only.
• It is not allowed for in-laws (either husband's or wife's) to investigate matter of their private life. Both husband and wife has right to keep their private life secret. None has right to ask them questions concerning their private life.
• If wife chooses to look after husband's parent out of her own compassion and love, then this is well rewarded act of compassion. As parents of husband is very honorable and it is also pleasing to husband that his wife is caring for his husband. However, it is by no mean an obligation on the wife, nor a wife can be made muklaf of it. Sometimes having parents live with them together results in great benefit, both for the spouses and the children. Hence, there is nothing wrong to live with parents of husband, as far as this conforms to the standards set by the Shariah, and doesn't result in abuse of wife's right or parent's right.
• Wife must remember that husband has obligatory duty from Allah to honour his parents, and look after them, and care for them until they pass away. This duty is highly obligatory and must be fulfilled by the man. Failure to do so results in hefty punishment from Allah (swt). Hence, wife must ensure that she does not become an obstruction to her husband's obligation towards his parent. As the man has no choice in this matter, and he must serve the call to his parents as an ultimate obligation from Allah (swt). The Prophet (ﷺ) has noted severe punishment and banishment from Allah (swt) for those who ignore the rights of their parents.
•  While husband fulfill their rights and obligation towards their parents, they must not ignore the duty and obligation they have towards their wife. They must not transgress from Shariah and abide by the laws of Allah in maintain the right balance between their parents and their wives. Both of these have separate rights, and one party cannot deny rights of other party. It is the husband who has the difficult job of maintaining justice based on guidance of Allah (swt) and His Messenger.
• If husband feels that it is wiser to keep parents and wife separate, then this is the norm and there is no harm in it. If husband feels that he can keep the balance between them while they live in same house, then this is allowed, and there is no harm in it, and there is also benefit in it.
• However, the norm is that husband and wife live in separate dwelling, if this can be afforded. As, the house of family is governed by the wife. It is her private space where she lives in freedom without any undue interference. If is unnatural that two women share the same house, i.e. wife and the mother. As woman generally is possessive, and they like to decorate and adjust their house to their liking. Two woman may not have similar liking or preferences. This is very natural and may result in unnecessary conflicts and argumentation.

• Read Part 2: Rights of Spouses and issues in joint family system (2)

FOOTNOTES

[1] (ﷺ) is commonly used abbreviation for Peace be upon Him. صلى الله عليه وسلم

[2] ibn Hibban in his Sahih. Albani graded this hadith as Sahih.

[3] Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih al-Muslim

[4] Sahih al-Muslim

[5] Sharh Saheeh Muslim / Fiqh of Marriage (Dr Saalih ibn Ghaanim al-Sadlaan, Translated Jamal al-din Zarabozo)

[6] Sahih al-Muslim

[7] Sahih al-Bukhari

[8] See Sahih al-Bukari

[9] Sunnan Abu Dawood

[10] Sahih al-Bukhari

[11] Sahih al-Muslim

[12] Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih al-Muslim

[13] Sahih al-Bukhari

[14] Islam-qa.com

[15] Sahih al-Muslim

[16] Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih al-Muslim

[17] Sunnan al-Tirmidhi, Sunnan Ibn Maajah, classed as Sahih by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

[18] Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih al-Muslim

[19] Sunnan Abu Dawood, Sunnan ibn Majah.

[20] Sunnan Ibn Majah,

[21] Sunnan Abu Dawood, Sunnan ibn Majah.

[22] Sahih al-Muslim

[23] Sahih al-Muslim, Sahih al-Bukhari

[24] Sahih al-Muslim, Sahih al-Bukhari